Control and Legacy in Old Age
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Abstract
Old age is a challenging stage for older adults, and they experience many challenges. As they grow older, they may experience mental and physical health challenges that require them to be dependent on others for basic activities. They lose control over many areas of their lives such as their living situations, their finances, mobility and their status. Older adults also tend to worry about how they lived their life and how others will remember them. Control and legacy and critical part of old age. Caregivers, family members and advisors must be careful in how they communicate with older adults regarding control and legacy. It is imperative to maintain a positive approach to make transition into old age and preparations for the end of life much easier for old people.
Key words: Control, Legacy, old age.
As people grow into old age, many aspects of their lives begin to change. One of the most common changes is the physical state of the individual. Most older adults experience challenges with their physical wellbeing such as chronic illness and weakening of various parts of the body. Although these challenges are to be expected, they should not be taken as a sign that the older adult is unable to perform any tasks. One common stereotype is that older adults experience a mental decline alongside the physical decline of their body. Such assumptions lead to the idea that older adults need to relinquish control over important aspects of their lives such as finances, living conditions and movement. Although this is necessary in some cases, it should not be a blanket approach on how to address older adults. The aging process is a daunting stage of life, one that many older adults may not be prepared for. They need all the support they can get to manage the final stages of their lives to the best of their abilities. Legacy and control are critical concepts in old age, and communication is important in how older adults understand these ideas.
Understanding Control and Legacy
Solie (2013) explains that the struggle for legacy and control begins in the mid-sixties. Control means the power to direct and influence what happens in one’s life. As people grow into their old age, they experience a loss of control in many aspects of their lives mainly due to changes in their health and physical strength. They begin to lose control of their lives due to loss of family, identity, their home, their peers, financial independence, among others (Solie, 2013). These losses make the older adult feel helpless. When older adults relinquish control voluntarily, they experience less negative outcomes compared to being forced (Morgan & Brazda, 2013). Communication is a critical part of helping older adults decide when to give up control when it is in their best interest.
Legacy is the mark that one leaves in the world after they are gone. As older adults near the end of their lives, they become concerned with the impact they made on the world around them. They think of the meaning of their life, their last instructions, how they will be remembered and the difference they made (Solie, 2013). Legacy is a vital part of one’s life, which gains even more importance near the end of life.
Experiences of Control and Legacy
I have met and worked with several older adults and viewed their experiences through the concepts of legacy and control. One of these is an old lady at a nursing home where I volunteered. Mary was about eighty years old with chronic arthritis, and she needed help with basic activities such as movement as the disease had ravaged her joints. Despite her physical problems, she was still cognitively fit, and she would entertain her peers as well as workers with stories from her life. Her family came to visit quite often, and she would discuss important affairs with them. One day as I was cleaning her room, we were chatting and she told me how hard it was for her to leave her home. Her husband passed away eight years before, and since then her arthritis got progressively worse. Her children convinced her to come to the nursing home where she had people around all the time. She said that she still kept track of all her money, gave donations and had written a will. She had willingly relinquished control, and she was glad she made the choices she did.
Mary was trained as a teacher since her mid-twenties, and it was one of the things she was most proud of in her life. She told me that it brought her so much joy to see the little children she once taught all grown up as responsible and successful adults. Her teaching was her legacy, and she knew she had taught her students well.
Feelings on Control and Legacy
Reflecting on Mary’s story gave me a lot of insight on the importance of control and legacy in old age. Morgan & Brazda (2013) explain that loss of control can lead to negative psychosocial consequences. However, when the older adult willingly gives up control of some areas of their life, it leads to better outcomes. Mary told me that she still kept a close watch on her finances and knew where her money was going. She was happy to pay for her nursing home and give to charity. Having a supportive family allowed her to retain the feeling that she was in control without having to worry about much. I was glad that she and her family came up with ideas that resulted in positive results for all involved.
Mary’s case also showed me the importance of legacy. Most people want to leave a mark in the world, no matter how small. It brings a lot of satisfaction to know that one made a positive impact in the lives of others. I could see that Mary treasured her years as a teacher, and it made her so proud to see her students turn out well in life. She knew that she had spent her life well, raising her own children as well as her students.
Details of Older Adult
Mary is one of the most remarkable old ladies I have ever met. One of the most striking things about her was her laughter. She would randomly burst into laughter, and tell a funny story from years ago. I would describe her laughter as rolling and infectious. She had a full head of white hair, quite soft and fluffy. She wore glasses due to her failing sight, but she could still see quite well with them. Mary had to use a wheelchair as a result of arthritis, but she never complained. Her face looked quite young for her age, with a few lines on her forehead, laughter lines when she smiled and a double chin that she loved to make fun of. She had an overall slight build, but a high-pitched and strong voice that belied her size. Her granddaughter had knit her a red scarf that she wore almost all the time. She loved to visit all her friends in the home to tease them and raise their spirits, especially when someone was having a hard time. Mary’s story is an eye-opening one for me, and has taught me a lot about control and legacy in old age.
References
Morgan, L. A., & Brazda, M. A. (2013). Family support and diminished control in older adults: the role of proxy control. Journal of applied gerontology: the official journal of the Southern Gerontological Society, 32(6), 651.
Solie, D. (2013). “Unlocking the Communication Code of Seniors.” Aging Parent Insights. https://www.davidsolie.com/blog/unlocking-communication-code-seniors/
